Talk to Strangers

This is a story about a couple strangers I bumped into a few years ago that had a profound impact on me.

These stranger stories are extra special because I wasn’t off my face. I’ve got hundreds of great stranger stories from big nights as I’m sure most people have. I was well known for running off from mates on nights out and collecting new best friends, the quirky the better. But those scenarios don’t really count. Liquid courage make connections shallow and the memories fade quickly as you sober up. Although at the time I thought I was having the best time ever with all these random people but looking back now all I can see is a lost puppy not wanting to go home to be alone in her thoughts. Anyway that’s a rabbit hole for a later blog. In these stories I am completely sober.

The first one was in Cairns at the end of 2019. I had just finished leading trip with a school into communities around Cooktown. Before that I had come off a month placement. I had been non-stop for a good 4-5 months. This is around the time my back got really bad back , (surprise surprise) but I hadn’t yet figured out my head/hectic life was causing most of it. I had 3 days in Cairns alone to rest. I spend most my first day on the Esplanade reading a book in the shade. In the afternoon I was doing to some stretches, trying to alleviate the knots in my hips and tension in my back. I wasn’t really into yoga back then, like I am now. Yoga is currently the glue that’s holding my life together.

A man approaches me randomly and ask if he can join me stretching. He was around 40 short skinny guy. Seem friendly enough. So I invited him next to me. His name was Gary. Turns out he is a yoga teacher and he thought the tattoo on my back was a yoga symbol. He gives me some good poses to do for my back and we stretch/ yoga together for the next half an hour chatting. He is also a lifeguard at the lagoon pool. We get talking about lifesaving as we both had this in common. In the short time we spend together that afternoon two people stop to chat to Gary. One man was boasting at how Gary ‘fixed’ him. Turns out Gary is also a masseuse. Great! I had been looking to get a good massage while in Cairns. I asked him if he was working tomorrow, trying to slide my way into a possible massage appointment. Gary had the next day off so I didn’t push it.

After some comfortable silence, he suggested that maybe he could take me to go check out some waterfalls in the area tomorrow if I was keen. I’m not one to say no to an opportunity spontaneously presented to me. These are my favourite kind of opportunities. Even though it meant spending a day with an man I had just met. So I said heck yes!

I wasn’t quite aware of my intuition back then as I am now. But the short time he did spend together that afternoon gave me a good sense of this mans energy. His intentions were pure. And the two people who approached him while we were stretching together told me he was a respected and valued local guy. I believe I have pretty good judge of character. Also I had sized him up and knew I could easily take him on if I had to. I’ve actually always fantasised about a man trying to ‘get’ me and him realising he chose the wrong girl when I beat the fuck out of him (thanks brothers). Twisted I know, luckily I haven’t been in the situation before. But I’ll hopefully be ready if the time comes. He picked me up in his white van (how fitting) the next morning and off we went on our way to a waterfall.

On our drive I learnt a bit more about Gary. He once had the “whole package”, successful job – his panel beating business, family and house. All the things society expects you to achieve as an adult. But he wasn’t happy. So now he does what makes him happy. Which is casually working as a lifeguard, yoga teacher and in massage. That was the gist of it. I’m sure his story has many more layers than just that. I found it very interesting as I was approaching the crossroad of finishing and tossing up what direction I wanted to take. Did I want to jump in and start a career in teaching and stick with it or did I want to follow my adventures before settling into a career. I feel like there is so much society pressure in your 20s to have your shit sorted, get a good job, find the one, buy a house, blah blah blah. But I get so overwhelmed with the hundreds of decisions we have to make that could quite possibility change the whole trajectory of our lives. It’s a lot and I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way.

I had the most beautiful time at the waterfall swimming, climbing rocks, jumping off the top, exploring and napping in the shade. Gary’s company was perfect balance of giving me space and enjoying an experience with someone else. I hardly touched my phone all day. He even had watermelon cut up for us for lunch. What a guy. The second waterfall we went to, we played on the rope swing like a couple of kids, taking in the rainforest serenity. He dropped me back to my hotel later that afternoon. No creepy business. Just a local guy kind enough to take me on an adventure day. And just a girl open to the kindness and company of a stranger.

My next stranger story is a little more outrageous. Around early April 2020. Just when COVID first started causing drama to our lives. Treetops, my tourism job, had just shut and it was my first day of being out of work. I was secretly glad about the no work situation. I was busy at uni so I had enough on my plate. I decided to spend my first free day well. I rode my bike down to the beach early, swam with the beach bums and no doubt had extended coffee/breakfast telling stories with all my mates there. On my ride home I stopped halfway along Maroochy river for a break under a shady tree. Just as I was about to put my earphones back in and take off. A man sitting a little way from me said G’day and asked me if I wanted to go for a paddle on his kayak. He looked around 50, no shirt, covered in tats and a smoke hanging from his mouth. I literally had nowhere to be, so I said sure! Left my bike and bag next to him and off I went for a paddle up and down the canal.

I got back onto shore he helped me drag it up and we started chatting. The more he spoke the more interesting his story got. He lives in an old ambulance van painted camo. He earns his cash by sifting through hard rubbish from suburbs around Brisbane and trading in scrap mental. He shared his bag of mandarins while the conversation went on. Then the topic somehow got to his guns. Any other young female probably would have made a dash at this point, actually I doubt any girl my age would have even given him the time of day in the first place. But coming from a hunting family, I knew enough to show interest in his guns that he was so clearly proud of. But he did add that he had to store his guns at the shooting range because he had schizophrenia. Another fun fact about my new mate. We talked about sport and all my team sport activity, he much preferred individual sport as he told me the position he always played was ‘left right out’. I took me a good 30 seconds to get that joke.

By this stage in my back pain journey I had realised that my environment and stress levels plays a big part in the level of pain. I noticed when I was around shitty people or stressed about something my back hurt, but when I was around good energy people and in the moment- no pain. The whole hour I spent talking with this man I had no pain whatsoever. I could tell he was a kind soul and his energy was healing. When I said goodbye to him, he told me his name- Nick. At a time when the media was (and still is) telling us shaking hands is dangerous, I shook Nick’s hand, thanked him for the stories and jumped back on my bike.

You may think from these stories that I have too much trust in people and that get myself into trouble one day. I do have a motto of assume the best of people until proven otherwise. I believe people are inherently good and it seems that by just holding that belief I attract mostly people who are genuine. I also trust my intuition or gut totally in situations, therefore use this a my guide in life. I know I can feel when I am being manipulated. Vibes are important. Always listen to the vibes. This gift allows me to trust in situations that logically seem stupid and take risks confidently. A life with not trusting in people seems scary, boring and limiting to the epic conversations and experience you could have. So sorry Mum and Dad I’ll keep talking to strangers, at least it gives me something interesting to write about.

I sometimes wish I was better at taking photos to compliment stories like this or just taking photos in general. I'm not really a photo taking person I've accepted. It's not my thing. I'll sometimes go weeks without taking any photos. My eyes have seen so much more beauty than my camera ever will. As much as I do love a good photo, my interest lies in the words of others and the energy of interactions. And in situation like these stories when I'm really present with people or places, I feel getting my phone out to take a photo just ruins the moment. Plus, I usually don't even realise there is a reason to take a photo until I reflect on the experience after and go oh wow that was pretty cool. What I am is a storyteller. So I will stick to taking it all in, reflecting and creating meaningful stories. That's my thing.

Jess